I can't believe it's been a week since my surgery! It's been an emotional roller coaster, for sure, especially as I remember how much I hate shunts. I mean I really truly hate having this pressure valve and tubing system manipulate the drainage of my CSF. Sometimes it drains too much. Sometimes it drains too little. Either way, I get an awful headache. And when my pain increases, my emotions start to overwhelm me and drag me down a path of ridiculous negative thinking. Crazy emotions are also a side effect of brain surgery. So I've been forgiving myself for this lack of emotional control. It's totally normal. But knowing that doesn't necessarily make it any easier so I simply ride it out until I'm distracted by something else.
I'm grateful for my hydrocephalus support FB groups that have been helping me keep the physical and emotional pain in perspective. One of my darling friends who's had three times the number of brain surgeries as I've had, gently reminded me yesterday that this shunt is working with my ETV to keep me alive so that I can be present with my family and live a pretty normal life. She said it might be a bit more painful, but I'm alive.
Truth.
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